Although I haven't been posting, I have been writing, and it's time to go public now. Even though I found out 11 weeks ago today, I still can't quite believe it's true: D & I are going to have a baby and Baby Beanie is due on Christmas Eve!
So, more for my own benefit than anything else, I've been keeping a weekly pregnancy journal, which can be found in all its neurotic glory here: Baby Beanie, week by week
But in case you, understandably, don't want to immerse yourself in the tedious details of my gestation, I've excerpted the first and last couple posts to share with you below.
St. George's Day, April 23 - Week 4 +3
Looking back, the signs were there, but I dismissed them. I didn't want to get my hopes up.
The previous Friday, we had simultaneously closed the sale of our house
in the U.S. and found a new (smaller - uh, oh!) place to rent in Britain in order to escape
the rat hole.
Then on Sunday evening, D and I were watching a property search show,
and the featured couple announced midway through their home search that
they were expecting a baby. As we had recently noticed how often that
seemed to happen on these shows, D remarked on it once again. I said,
"Do you know what else is strange? We just sold one house and rented
another and I'm a few days late."
looked at me with a surprised little smile. I said, "Perhaps I should
wait until Tuesday and then take a pregnancy test." He nodded eagerly
and we spoke no more of it.
I woke up the next morning and took a look at the calendar. Yep,
officially as late as I'd ever been. So I decided not to wait anymore.
A few minutes later, the pink line appeared.
I crept upstairs, woke D with a cup of tea and quietly told him, "We made a little baby!"
July 2, Week 15 - Nothing to see here, folks
On Sunday morning, Baby Beanie had uncharacteristically wandered over to
my left side and nearly up to my belly button and there was a sharply
visible protrusion that, had it been later in pregnancy, I would have
sworn was an elbow. As I chilled out in bed for a few hours, that same
sharp bump wandered around my tummy until Baby Beanie settled back into
the customary lower-right-side location. I started to wonder if I was
feeling some sort of cyst, but later on Baby Beanie must have changed
position, and the bump returned to its normal taut, smooth and round
shape. Maybe it was Baby Beanie's bottom?
Baby Beanie is supposed to be about 10 cm now (almost 4"). When I think about
the rate of growth, its astounding - that's nearly 30% since the scan.
I do want to document progress of the bump in photos, and that wouldn't
be complete without a "before" picture for reference. I'd best get
that taken soon, before Baby Beanie catches me out and makes a surprise
appearance on my waistline. Might be any day now... or it might be
months. I do have my fingers crossed for one of those discreet "basketball up the sweater" pregnancies that can't be detected from behind.
July 9, Week 16 - The Wanderer
Ever since last week, when the mysterious "bump on the bump" appeared,
I've been visited more and more frequently by this odd phenomenon. It
moves about from down near my bikini line to more than halfway to my belly
button. Sometimes it's very easy to trace its dimensions, which are
roughly baby-sized (about 12 cm now, a little shy of 5 inches, after another burst of growth last week), and
sometimes the thing isn't perceptible at all. A very scientific search
of google reveals that I'm not the only one to experience this, and the
general consensus is that it's baby. Baby Beanie, if indeed it is,
nearly always makes an appearance when I wake up. So I lay there for a
few minutes with my hand over the taut little lump, trying to connect
with the little one and detect any movement. (Nothing yet.)
I had my 16-week appointment with the midwife today. She measured my still outwardly invisible uterus at 15 cm and then had me lay back so we could
listen to the baby's heartbeat. She warned me it might be a bit
difficult to find and not to panic if so... but as soon as she set the
doppler wand on my tummy we could hear it, galloping away at 147 bpm.
She even heard the baby kick, though I didn't realize what I was hearing until
the moment was already past. It was so reassuring to hear the little
ticker beating away.
I described the "bump on a bump" to her and asked what she thought
it was. Unfortunately, the thing was in hiding, so she couldn't
actually feel it at the time. To my disappointment, she guessed it
might be a fibroid or maybe even a part of my bowel. Which means all
this time, I might have been communing with lumps of poo.