Monday, January 21, 2013

Two months

Darling Katherine,

This month marked the arrival of your Christmas Eve due date, baby girl, and I'm astounded by the changes once you were "fully baked."  Last month, you quietly took the world in, reluctant to make much of a fuss unless you wanted to eat.  Now your cries have become much more insistent and communicative, and I clearly remember the day earlier this month when you first shed actual tears, which broke my heart a little.

You've found your lungs and decided to register a few official complaints.  You particularly dislike having your bits exposed during nappy changes.  Also, right around Christmas day, you realized that you weren't quite sure how this pooping thing is efficiently accomplished and spent much of your waking hours working on it, grunting or letting out a brief wail now and then.

You are, however, an extremely easy baby to soothe if you do get upset.  You have occasionally had little bouts of fussiness - by which I mean you are no longer content to simply sit quietly and watch the world go by.  Fortunately, it only takes a bit of a cuddle and all is right in your universe.  Now that you are big enough for your Action Baby Carrier, you are very happy in it snuggled up against my chest.  Though I didn't set out to be an attachment parent, you are my favorite fashion accessory; as long as you are more content in my arms than out of them, I will wear you proudly.

I find the range of expressions on your tiny little face endlessly fascinating.  I've seen curiosity, surprise, puzzlement, consternation, frustration... I particularly like your milk-drunk face... but nothing compares to the sweet little grin that you flash from time to time.  It was New Years' Day when you woke up happy to be alive and you smiled your first smile directly at me - one that I knew for sure wasn't only wind.  You were all, "Hey! It's you; I like you!"  Unlike those first weeks when you were unexpectedly thrust into the cold, cruel world and seemed a bit overwhelmed by it all, you are now fascinated by our faces and are clearly more curious about your environment.

The range of sounds you make has expanded, though I admit that one of my favorites is the sound when you experience sneezus interruptis, in which case you emit this little squeak that sounds a bit like the sound effect of a bullet whizzing by in some cheesy old western movie.  I also know the particular series of huffs and pants you make when hungry, so that I can recognize it even in the dark of night.

Speaking of nights, in the past week, you've started occasionally staying asleep for 3+ hours at a time overnight.  Though that doesn't sound like much, after 8 weeks of sleeping no more than 2 hours at a stretch, these substantial naps are bliss for your mummy.

You are growing into a proper little baby, weighing in at 7 lbs, 4 oz last week.  You've outgrown most of your Tiny Baby size clothes and graduated from preemie to newborn size nappies.  It's not surprising when I see how much baby fat you've acquired - your chubby wee thighs are adorable and you've grown a little double chin.  You also started to grow eyebrows this month and now look less like an escapee from the radiation treatment ward when you're wearing a hat.  Your tiny little lashes, which were blonde and nearly undetectable last month, are lengthening and darkening, and if you're lucky you'll inherit lovely lush lashes from your daddy.  Though your newborn hair is quite dark like daddy's, its roots are blonde and you might end up with hair like your momma's.  Trust me darling, blondes do have more fun.

Shhhh - don't tell anyone, but your momma turned 40 this month.  I've recently dreaded each birthday and last year at this time I really dreaded the countdown to this milestone.  But since you're here now, 40 wasn't so scary.  In fact, it barely even registered; there are more important things to think about.  I could lose hours gazing into your dark not-quite-brown, not-quite-blue eyes, wondering what you're thinking and what the future holds for you.  Just know, my sweet baby girl, that whatever it is, I've always got your back.

I love you with all my heart,