Twelve Months: This Moment Keeps on Moving - We Were Never Meant to Hold On

Twelve Months

Dear Katherine,

You are one year old, my darling girl, and you have had a big month to cap off a big year.  You will never again grow or change as much in 12 months as you have since you were born.  You now weigh over 17 pounds, and have finally grown into your 6-9 month wardrobe.  Your eye color continues to confound me.  I’m not sure if they are changing from blue to brown or if you will keep these wonderful chameleon eyes that can seem hazel, green, brown, blue or gray – sometimes all at once.

I thought that you were going to end the year with the same three teeth you’ve had for a couple of months now, but in a burst we’ve had at five arrive in the past 10 days.  That much teething was enough to shake even your normally cool composure and you’ve had a couple of rough nights.  Teething notwithstanding, you’ve started sleeping in past the time that I naturally wake up, and it’s awesome not to have a 17 pound alarm clock calling me to duty every morning.  I often hear you stirring in your cot for some time before you cry out for me, with the peace punctuated by little squeals and giggles which bring joy to my heart.  Then I go into your room and you beam a grin that could melt a polar icecap, and we begin the routine of imitation.  You wave, I wave, you shake your head no, I shake my head no, you blow a raspberry, I try to blow a raspberry (you’re much better at it than me), you make a kissy noise, I make a kissy noise, you pant like a puppy, I pant like a puppy.  When I carry you downstairs for breakfast, you hoot like a little owl because you like the way the sound echoes in the stairwell.

You’ve learned a lot this month.  You’ve been working on pulling to stand for a while now, but in the past few weeks you’ve dialed it in and now stand tall and proud on your chubby little legs.  You finally acquiesced to drinking from a sippy cup and in short order figured out how to do it for yourself.  Since I am still holding your bottle for you, darling, I’m very pleased about that development.  You can put the bottle into your mouth, but you haven’t quite sussed tilting it up far enough.  As soon as I try to show you how it’s done, you’re all, “Cool – you got this.”  Since you’re so tiny and the mere fact that you’re eating is more important to me, I’ve gone along with it.  Recently I thought your appetite for milk was dropping precipitously, but it turns out you’ve just got better things to do than lie back and drink, so I hang out with the bottle while you play and you periodically cruise by to have a swig like an orphaned lamb on a bottle.  When you are charging about, you don’t so much attempt to go around or over things as through them.  This either demonstrates determination, or the fact that your spatial awareness isn’t yet fully developed.  Heaven help you, sweetheart, if you take after your mother in that department. 

Selfie

You’ve become so much more precise while you play and I know you now understand the physical relationships between items.  You love to climb in and out of your carseat.  You’re obsessed with placing the cap on and off your bottle.  You open my wallet to examine my credit cards and driver’s license.  You no longer simply knock block towers over and giggle maniacally when I say “boom!”; now you try to place the next block on top.   You love playing with my smartphone and I’m often surprised by what you manage to accomplish when you get a hold of it.  The home screen has a photo of you and I and whenever you get it flashed up you start laughing.

The arrival of your first birthday is a big milestone, my love, but it is bittersweet for me.  I spent so much time planning to have a baby, and anticipating your birth after I found out you were on the way.  I reflect on your unexected early arrival at this time last year and it seems but a moment ago.  Now I blink and your babyhood is over.  My delicious squishy newborn has been replaced by this beautiful curious bundle of delight.  Watching you grow and learn and change is exciting and fun, but no matter how much you grow up you will always remain my baby.


I love you with all my heart,
Mummy