The second leaving of Keenie Beanie

So, big news in Keenie Beanie land... I've entered the ranks of the unemployed.*  Sorta.

* "A-ha!" say a few of my wiser readers, who may realize that this kind of stress could precipitate an existential blogging crisis. 

For the few of you that have been around here for a while, do you remember when my job was eliminated last year due to a corporate acquisition?  Well, it happened again.

But it's a good thing.  Really.  I found out about the possibility last spring... not so very long after I posted this question to the universe.

Now I'm a godless heathen, but if I had been praying for a sign from a god, any god, I really couldn't have received a clearer answer.  It's like the universe was saying, "So you're not sure whether you should give up your job for the good of your relationship?  Bam, problem solved.  Now go sort it out with your man!"  Even better, I was offered a choice: a different job with the same company or a generous severance package.  And let me tell you, if you must lose your job, it stings a whole lot less if you feel you are captain of your own destiny.

I was originally scheduled to finish work near the beginning of June.  We'd had the leaving do (happy hour drinks) to wish me bon voyage on my last day, but the very next day another person in our department quit.  So I was asked to return to work full time through the end of July.  On July 28th, I snuck out to the elevator taking my last leave of the place as a full-time employee... for a second time.  I'm a sentimental fool and I hate good-byes, even good-byes to those who were never more than pleasant acquaintances.  It really sucks having to do them twice.  So I just... didn't.

But the blessings continue: for at least the next four to six weeks, I'll continue working as an independent contractor on a part-time basis, telecommuting from home.  Good-bye isn't a big deal when one is going to be popping in to the office for meetings now and then and interacting electronically on a frequent basis.  The added advantage?  Someday, I'll just fade quietly away and perhaps some people might think, "Huh, I haven't seen Keenie Beanie around the office in a while."  But we don't have to make a big deal about it.
 
I've nearly completed my second week of the part-time working-from-home arrangement.  It. Is. Awesome.  A girl could get used to this style of (sorta) unemployment.  No alarm clocks, no commutes, a little money coming in... all good things.  I am, however, looking forward to really digging in on the still-languishing renovation project once there are no further professional demands on my time.  Let's do this thing.

This change is the first of many to come, so I will keep you all posted as events unfold.  Thanks for stopping by and reading, and many, many thanks for reaching out when I needed a little encouragement.

Color me boring

Meeks over at Juggling Motherhood recently posted about her love/hate relationship with routines. She’s speaking of routines as the glue that holds her family together – making sure everything in the household runs as smoothly as possible… and although I don’t have children, it led me to consider the routines in my life.

As I’ve mentioned before I used to travel a lot for work. And if I wasn’t traveling, I was frequently working at a different client location every few weeks, so it seemed like my life - my work life anyway -was never routine. That bled into other areas of my life… for instance, trying to plan a dentist appointment when I had to book months in advance just to secure a slot felt an insurmountable task. What would I be doing in six months? How the hell should I know? After a long while where I didn’t plan much of anything and watched life pass me by accordingly, I got a lot more flexible. Make plans, keep them if I can, change them if I had to.

Blogger on Blobbing

A while ago, I wrote about some of my favorite summer camp memories.  But we didn't have anything this awesome on the camp activity lineup.  As the video says, a "genius camp director" came up with a great use for a military surplus water transport bag.  How fun is this?!

Let's take some "E!"

Me: (While watching E! ads during Chelsea Lately) I wonder if Khloe Kardishan ever feels inferior?

Him: Why, because she's the ugly one?

Me: Well, yes, I guess you could put it that way.

Him: Well, she did marry an NBA player after about a week.

(Long pause.)

Me: Considering I've seen the Kardishan's show like twice and those times were accidents, it makes me sad you know that.

Him (resigned): Me too, babe, me too.

Nobody but us crickets

Hello - is anybody out there?  All work and no play makes Keenie Beanie a dull girl.  For anybody following along, I took a new job in April and, boy, has it been taking it out of me.  I've been averaging 50 hour weeks, and I just met another big deadline on Friday, leaving me with a few moments to take stock.

Let's see, since I started this job, I've barely picked up my camera, I've nearly stopped writing, hardly made contact with my friends online or IRL, and have no energy or motivation to actually get out and enjoy my leisure hours.  There have been lots of OT hours on the laptop, exhausted early nights when I can't keep my eyes open past 9 pm, and weekend naps.  Come to think of it, the weekend naps have been bloomin' lovely.

Are you a boob man or a butt man?

Me (to the husband): If you had to choose one thing for the rest of your life, would it be boobs or butts?

The husband:  Um, butts I guess.

The husband: (Pause for thought) But if I could, I'd definitely choose one of each.

(He then makes a gesture that looks something like this, complete with hands making a little "honk-honk" motion.)

The husband: (Contemplating his flash of brilliance.) That totally works. I only have two hands anyway.

Me:  But then I'd be all deformed! (Picturing something like this)

The husband: Oh sure.  And you wouldn't be all deformed if your butt or your boobs were somehow removed?

Me: Well, at least I'd be symmetrically deformed.

The husband: This can't end well; let's just leave your butt and your boobs where they are.  They're perfect.

Me: That's a fair point well made.

(And he is a very wise man.)

* * *

The presentation of this missive from Keenie Beanie-land shamelessly imitates certain clever posts by the brilliant Lemon Gloria.  If you aren't reading her blog yet, you totally should.

You neared to me, but I couldn't quite discern you

For a long time I didn't want a child.

Then I married D who does want a child and brought my thoughts around to the same idea.  It went on our list of things to do "someday."  The time to have a baby hasn't yet felt right and there have been good reasons for this in the past.

For some time now now, I've imagined the presence of the child that would be.  The little soul is floating around in some alternate dimension, waiting for the right time to come into our lives.

I've wondered... 

Are you a fluffy little blonde, like me? A dark, rough-and-tumble little boy, like D?  Will you be quiet and observant?  An old soul?  A chatterbox?  A social butterfly?  Will you have a thirst for knowledge?  Will you struggle in school?  Will you love the outdoors and collect rocks and bugs?  Will you cry when you're 3 years old and the ocean gets your skirt wet and the broken shells on the beach hurt your tender little feet?  Will I be able to parent you well?  Will we be friends when you reach adulthood?

Will I ever find out the answers to these questions?

For about 24 hours last week, I thought that perhaps you had decided that - planning be damned - the time was nigh.  I was simultaneously excited and terrified.  However, it came to pass that is not the case.  I was simultaneously relieved and disappointed.

This is still not the right time to plan for your entrance into the world.  But now I'm worried that I have waited too long.  I may never get to hold you, love you, watch you grown and learn and absorb the experiences this great world can offer.

And I wonder, if so, will I always feel the presence of the little one that never was?